A pastor, his ex-wives and his faith

When Lagos preacher Pastor Chris Okotie announced his separation from his second wife on Sunday, the congregation was thrown into a shock. What went wrong? Did the pastor take the right decision?

Sunday Oguntola reports

About four years ago, it started with a drama. Two days ago, it ended the same way.  The founder of the Household of God Church, Oregun, Lagos, Pastor Chris Okotie, announced the end of his second marriage to a shocked congregation.

 The couple criss-crossed continents for an expensive honeymoon. An excited Okotie declared Stephanie as unbeatable. According to him, his pretty ex-wife was ‘’a culmination of my desire to stabilise as a man.’’

  At a point, he even claimed God told him they would have twins.  The marriage was not blessed with any child before it collapsed. It was not clear if this had anything to do with the separation. 

Yesterday, Pastor Okotie’s spokesman, Pastor Ladi Ayodeji, issued a statement. It reads:  ‘’The Pastor of our church, the Household of God, Oregun, Lagos, Rev. Chris Okotie announced his separation from Stephanie, his wife of four years, at the end of service last Sunday.

‘’Both parties arrived at this decision after careful review of the prevailing circumstances which pointed to the fact that it is the best option for them at this time. They also agreed not to divulge details of this incident for personal reasons. Rev. Okotie thanked concerned friends and well-wishers and asked for understanding. He also expressed the hope that their decision would be respected as no further details would be given on this issue.’’

In August 2008 when Okotie married Stephanie, a mother of three, the Christian community was divided. His first wife, Tina, left the country for the United States in 1998 and reportedly refused all entreaties to return.

His single status attracted many eligible ladies within and outside the church. It also created a web of rumours over who would be the lucky woman.

Pastor Okotie said of Tina: ‘’She wanted to go. It was her choice that she didn’t want the marriage anymore and she decided to divorce me. So, God can’t hold me responsible for something I didn’t do. This is the second time for me now to pick it up from where Tina left.”

He had a supporter in founder and serving overseer of the Latter Rain Assembly, Pastor Tunde Bakare. Bakare attended the wedding thanksgiving and even supervised the cutting of the cake, describing Okotie as a true brother for whom he was happy.

On the propriety of the second marriage, Bakare said: “This is a brand new book; anything in the past does not exist anymore.”

Now, that new book has been torn. The development has thrown the Christian community into shock. Chairman of Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), Southwest, Archbishop Magnus Atilade, yesterday described it as regrettable and saddening.  He, however, called for caution, saying it would be wrong to blame anybody yet. 

He said: ‘’He needs our understanding and prayers. We should all sympathise with him because it could not have been an easy decision. We can only pray that God will take control so that his ministry can move forward. We cannot pass judgement because nobody can truly know what happened between them.’’

The President of International Church Growth Ministries, Dr Francis Bola Akin-John, however, dismissed Pastor Okotie as a bad example of what a good church leader should be.

He said: ‘’The problem with divorcees is once they leave the first, they are always vulnerable. He is a classic example of preachers who do not practise what they preach. He is given over to lust. He is one of those giving Christianity a bad name. You don’t quit a marriage because of challenges.”

The Senior Pastor of the Glory Christian Centre, Lagos, Dr Iruofagha James, in an earlier interview, said: ‘’Divorce is only permissible when a case of adultery has been established. Even at that, reconciliation is best.”

The General Overseer of Agape Generation International Church, Maryland, Lagos mainland, Rev. Toyin Kehinde, said any Christian divorcee who wants to make heaven must seek reconciliation or remain unmarried for life.

The Senior Pastor of the Vineyard Assembly, Ibadan, Pastor Buki Gbenro, shares the same view. Citing Mathew 5: 32, he said: ‘’ Once you divorce and you want to remain a Christian, you must never remarry. To remarry is to become an adulterer or adulteress. People are just walking away these days from their homes, including men of God. They are remarrying. Once you do this, you are acting against the Bible.’’